Learn to finally say NO to Obligation Autopilot!
In this article, I share insights and tips on how to live a Life Full of Passion and Not Obligation.
I decided to cover this topic due to the amount of comments and questions that have been raised lately. I’ve been hearing from clients and even friends and family that they feel like they ‘have to’ keep doing what they are doing out of ‘obligation’.
And in turn, passion and inspiration have been put on the back burner. This applies to their careers and even their personal relationships.
So, this has me thinking— are most people feeling this way?
Do you struggle with this as well?
If so, let’s change this scenario!
I once could totally relate to doing things out of obligation. In fact at one point, I found myself consumed by doing things I felt like I ‘should’ do instead of because I truly wanted to.
And that’s when I realized that I wasn’t honoring myself and most certainly not practicing self-love or healthy boundaries! That’s when I decided that this mindset was no longer working for me. And, I needed to be true to myself.
Now looking back on a deeper level, this old way of thinking was so not aligning with my greater good! But at the time when I was in the thick of it, I lacked the awareness and so I kept on keeping on.
Does this sound familiar to you?
I found myself going through the numbing motions and my passion was slowly diminishing day-by-day. Leaving me feeling depleted and uninspired. Which is NO BUENO!
Until, one day I FINALLY WOKE UP!
I realized that I no longer wanted the word ‘Obligation’ in my vocab. I actually began to find it to be such a negative and nagging declaration. And now, when I think of the word Obligation it doesn’t sit positively with me. Nope, not at all!
How about you?
You see, when we feel obligated to do something, we’re not able to tap into our passion.
And, without passion fueling our goals we are not intrinsically motivated.
So, let’s say NO to Obligation Autopilot!
This autopilot mode can lead us to feeling frustrated around certain things we think we ‘have to do’.
Then, when we feel frustrated we don’t approach our work or personal relationships from our true selves.
And if we aren’t aligned with our authentic hearts, we are waking up each day with a huge disconnect!
Can you relate to this vicious cycle?
Then, it’s time to CHANGE IT UP!
However, before we can transform this negative spin into a positive flow we must identify the slug. You know, the thing that can be buried so deep that we don’t even realize it’s our biggest roadblock.
Do you know what this can possibly be?
Well, what I have found from my own journey and in helping my clients is that this false sense of entrapment and disconnection all starts with FEAR.
Yep, that’s right. Every. Single. Time.
Fear is the underbelly of all negative emotions and prevents us from tuning into our innate abilities, inspiration, and passion in life.
This pesky, out of control feeling tends to show up a lot for us, right?
OK, what I’m about to share is a total game changer…
Fear is just an Illusion!
And, once we realize that this feeling is probably just a misconception that we have created to protect ourselves, we can then take the appropriate steps towards moving through and past fear.
So, I’d like to ask you—
Can you think of a current situation where you feel like you are driven by Obligation instead of Passion?
If you think you are obligated to someone or something, I’d love to shed some light to encourage you to change your mindset!
Here’s some best practices that you can follow to help you Realign with your Passion. This is a vital self-check list to gauge if fear is coming into play or worse— standing in your way!
5 Steps to Dropkick Fear:
1. Challenge it.
2. Question it’s validity.
3. Stand up to it.
4. Keep doing this— over and over…
5. Ultimately, SQUASH IT!
Easy, right? I know. I know. This can actually seem impossible at times. I totally get it! However, mastering this process is certainly possible and I’m living proof!
Next, I’d like to mention a vital aspect of feeling ‘trapped by obligation’…
Lack of Self-Awareness.
In all areas of our lives, Awareness is the foundation to every decision, attitude, and reaction. So, when we are functioning at our ‘peak awareness level’, we have a better understanding of self and in turn positioned in a healthy stance to handle whatever pops up on our path.
So, to help eliminate Obligation and Harness Passion, I recommend the following 2-Step Exercise:
Increase Awareness in order to identity when fear pops up, so that you can take the appropriate steps to change your mindset.
In your head, try replacing the word ‘Obligation’ with ‘Accountable’ or ‘Commitment’.
(See how it makes you FEEL)
Sometimes, it’s really hard to discern between something we are ‘Committed to’ vs. ‘Obligated to’.
A great way to figure out which situation you are in is to tap into your own self-awareness in order to ask yourself—
What’s my driving force behind my actions?
If your answer(s) are related to either intrinsic intentions, coming from a place of integrity or joy, chances are you are following through on a COMMITMENT or being ACCOUNTABLE by following through on your word.
However, if thoughts start swirling around in your head that’s related to a negative emotion, like that ugly monster (fear), or doing something that goes against your desires, then you are probably doing something out of OBLIGATION.
Examples of Fear in Relation to Obligation:
1. Being judged if I leave (job or relationship)
2. Feeling Guilty
3. What if I can’t succeed doing something different (or in a different relationship)
Once we are able to identify and differentiate between what’s actually passion driven for us vs. obligation we can then begin the process to change.
I hope this article has sparked your awareness and has provided a perspective shift to help you discern between Obligation and Commitment so that you can live your life authentically and with passion!
If you’d like to learn more on how to create more joy and soulful success, please reach out!